Description: Celebrating Valentine's Day at the wacky SF Zoo Annual "Sex Tour."
(Heather's Report):
For Valentine's Day, we went to the zoo, natch. I mean, where else would you go in San Francisco for Valentine's Day other than a sex tour at the local zoo?!? This description is from the registration website about the event:
"Be you Penguin, Primate or Possum…you are cordially invited to celebrate a San Francisco Zoo original 20th Annual Sex Tour/Woo at the Zoo with Jane Tollini. Come join us for new animals, new positions, new kinky
information, ins & out, ups & downs of animal sex, all animals A to Z including U.
Heads & tails above flowers & candles; no better way to impress your Valentine; and if that is not enough…get up-close with an animal encounter! "Woo at the Zoo" also features a romantic brunch including; mimosas, French toast station, scrambled eggs, pastries, chocolate covered strawberries, fresh fruit and a delicious surprise. The special evening events will include; beef tenderloin, herbed couscous, sautéed spinach w/ pine nuts & golden raisins, salad and chocolate dipped strawberries. Reservations are required as this “sense”ational event sells out each year."
This was basically as advertised although I thought at first that we were going to wander the zoo and see animals mating! Although I guess in February, that would be rather... chilly. And a little raunchy for other zoo visitors. So we ended up in a large conference room where Jane Tollini, the very funny zoo-keeper presenting the "tour" presided over a slide show. When we arrived, having chosen to attend the brunch time rather than dinner time, other keepers had animals out for our up and close examinations, such as a large white rabbit, a baby alligator, a porcupine, a tortoise, we think we remember a sloth that had brain damage, and a very large raptor (type I'm blanking on). We got to touch most of them, excepting the raptor, of course, since it wasn't hooded and would likely take your hand off. I'm a very touchy-feeling type person and I just wanted to smear my hands all over bird and feathers but of course, stayed back per his keeper's instructions. We (or at least, I) ate French Toast and various offered by buffet bits, and had a mimosa.
The presenter, Jane Tollini, a large woman who spoke in a raspy, possible smoker's voice, was a keeper at the SF Zoo for a very long time and previously worked with the penguin enclosure, and had one of those personalities that is pretty much suited to present a tour about sex, funny, confident, with that sort of "fake" tipsy quality and obviously had done this presentation a lot of times. She encouraged the room in a booming voice to partake freely (and frequently) of the free champagne offered, "Drink up! Get more! This is good stuff!" I found her immensely fun right off the bat. That sort of "fun" type of presenting tends to put folks at ease, or at least me. Especially in a room full of adults with a topic that can cause even adults to "titter nervously".
After being wined and dined, so to speak, she launched her slide show, which previously had just a picture of a sexy silhouette and the phrase "I got woo'd at the zoo!" which of course, I pointed out to Marty the obvious joke there... I got WOOD at the zoo. Heh. She did indeed start out at A and go to Z, although even before A, went through special terms that we might need to know about reproduction in the animal world. I learned more about penises and the various types wandering around this good Earth than I ever thought I'd ever know in my lifetime. Huge, small, spiky (yes, barbed!, which I have no idea of why Nature would be so cruel!), able to retract, extend, etc. By context of the topic, of course, I learned more about animal sex than I'd ever thought I'd know as well. As well as specific animal sex. Okay.
We had some good laughs, taking a break for, gosh, more booze (I forwent this time and Marty doesn't drink), before launching into the last half of the alphabet. I'm unfortunately writing this about a month later (Marty and I have made commitment to write our adventure posts right after our adventures), so I don't remember the specifics of the various animals presented and their specific sexual adventures, like pigs being able to have extended orgasms or some such. Sorry, folks, disappointing, I know!
After the presentation was over, we got cool mugs and wandered around the zoo for a little bit but it was grey and overcast, threatening to rain so we didn't stay out long. All in all, it was a fun Valentine's Day adventure!!
(Marty's Report):
A fun morning at the zoo. Lots of simple carbs and sugar, and I treated myself to a decaf, in a life now more or less coffee free. As with Heather's post, the woman was one of those larger-than-life presenters, tailor-made to put a bunch of upper-middle class San Franciscans at ease with talk of vaginas and penises.
My favorite--though the presentation was fun--was definitely the live animals. The bald eagle was an amazing and frightening bird, especially with a beak that I've seen destroy rabbit bones, about a few inches from its handler's face. We got to touch an alligator, and a porcupine, and a rabbit. I love them!
Then we went off and wandered around the zoo, including to the place where the young man had been killed by a tiger. That's always a little eerie, especially after seeing the cute-as-sin otters.
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